haven't met you yet!

two thumbs up for michael bubble!

my <3 goes for him!

i thought i was the only one (of my generation), who liked him.
i can even listen to his music all day long, all week long, all year long!!!hahahah!

<3-live!

• home
• it had better be tonight
  
• feeling good
• you don't know
  
• i'm your man
  

i have memorized his songs by <3, especially 'everything'.
surprisingly! ten other million likes it! and 100million more likes him!hahahahha

anyway, i super like the new song!




i haven't met you yet!(dungan tag memorize!).=)

I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts
I've Broken My Heart So Many Times,
I Stop Keeping Track.
Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up
And Then I Let Myself Down.

I Tried So Very Hard Not To Loose It
I Came Up With A Million Excuses
I Thought I Thought Of Every Possibility

And I Know Someday That It'll All Turn Out
You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

Mmmmm ....

I Might Have To Wait
I'll Never Give Up
I Guess It's Half Timing
And The Other Half's Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility

Mmmmm ......

And Somehow I Know That It Will All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I'll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

They Say All's Fair
And In Love And War
But I Won't Need To Fight It
We'll Get It Right
And We'll Be United

And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility

Mmmm .....

And Someday I Know It'll All Turn Out
And I'll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I'll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get Than I Get Than I Get

Oh You Know It'll All Turn Out
And You'll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet

I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get

I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet

doy-doy!

i would never trade him for any other friend in the world!

i call him by his name, never with the name his close friends label him- "doydoy!"

though we are not sooooo alike, we kind of manage to be around each other. we both speak ilonggo, and both nurses. Aside from that, i do not know what else we have in common!hahahah

i went to skypark last night (actually my second time to notice, the first time last week), i realized the vocalist of the band looked very much like him.. i can't help but imagine him with his orange jacket and bonet..hahahah! (mt. kitanglad look!).

i took a video of the band..
he sang "september" but i was too late to record it..
so lahi na lang nga kanta akong navideo..

oh! how i miss you nan!!!

i hope to see someday!

take care..

BUNTAKAPI.=P

Parties of all sorts was not so much a part of growing up. I can clearly remember that the only 'feasts' we go to was of three nature. A birthday of an immediate family-and i mean within the compound family- and a church fellowship and my parents' office's christmas parties.

As a child, i did not think that there was a world of parties outside the 'parties' we go to. I was happy enough to receive gifts from the 'long-time-no-see' friends of my parents owing to the fact that we don't get to attend gatherings more often. I was happy to showcase my 'i-guess-i-dance-well' talent to everyone, enjoying the roaring cheers and hundred claps going out for the children-of-the-corn (hahahah! banggud!) as we danced all possible dances there have been. i can even remember dancing cha-cha even as a pre-schooler..hahaha!

You see, i never felt left out from the social life my friends would excitingly share as i went on to high school and college. Thank you to Sir tabs during High School, my horizons widened.hahahah! He would bring me (together with other friends) to all 'feasts' that occurred around Gusa neighborhood. Even to this day, i feel like i know more people in Gusa than in my birthplace.heheheh! Aside from pleasuring my digestive system, i knew it did good on me. it was nice meeting new people from time to time, exchanging personal stories and others' personal stories..hahahah! i learned a lot from those.

When college came, i guess i got fed up with the socialization thing. When i attended Xavier, i can only count the people i have grown closer with. Acquaintances many, but friends? barely. It was bad that i felt, i had more than enough friends, so i kind of put up a wall against other people- maybe because the friends i had in high school also attended Xavier. It was kind of convenient for me, much more that tetel was still a classmate. The only affair i've attended was a block christmas party (where i was given a 'certificate' of attendance that says-certificate awarded to guenee abragan, aka maria clara of the batch..hahahah! oh come on! my close friends blurted out a volcano-eruption-awakening-kind-of-laugh because we knew i was not even close to becoming the icon). You see, i did not even care how they thought of me. When i get to class, i only talk to my close friends and go home when my classes end. it was really really bad of me!

'Turn back time' was my theme song when i attended CU. Capitol University was a whole lot of story. I did not know anybody else except for liza(geoneliza luz) and veron(veronica quiblat) who i also went to xavier with. Aside from them, the only persons i knew was the 'familiar-looking-people-from-xavier-too' who i really did not know.heheheh! Funny as it sounds, i found a family with the 'familiar-looking-people-from-xavier-too' . I even remember that on the first week of class, our teacher of a major nursing subject had a quiz. The bonus question was 'what is the name of this building?', what do you expect? almost 80% of the attendance said LH buiding..*wink*. What a family!hahahah

Three years in CU was paradise. Although not so much on the academic part, i found wonderful people i have shared time with. Great friends! (i will just have another post to introduce them to y'all), great time!=)

Because we never had the luxury of time to go to as many places to laag during student days, we are fulfilling it now! although most of the get-togethers are with the same friends, nobody new, the excitement is still as intense as meeting new people over meals.

kung saona, birthday lang ug fellowships akong gagtu-an? pwes karn, i think! BUNTAKAPI na ko..hahahhaah!

BUN- yag..one of the many i have been to (meaning? daghan nakog binata! hala!) was this one. of Pam's nephew-dodong.



TA-pos..hahahah! daghan na akong nagtu-an nga tapos but this was the most recent..hahhaah!
thank you to marjo's lola, may she rest in peace!




KA-sal.. am really old! hahahah! saona, mga auntie raman ang kaslon..karn, i attend weddings of friends and classmates..hahahah! these are felda's and didang's wedding photos.. i even got the bouquet..toink!






PI-sta..hahahha! of all the occasions, aside from birthdays, this probably is the most popular!hahahah..these pictures are from Bobot's fiesta..




thank you to my friends.=)

For boosting up my social life..hahahah!

P.S. mau na lang k wa naapil sa BUNTAKAPI ang thanksgivings ug 'i'll-comfort-you-get-togethers' kay mas mutaas pa akong blog..hahahah

till next time!

BUNTAKAPI!

webcam

old pictures of me with klara and ken..
these were actually shots from the webcam.hehehe

p.s. they are my older sister's children..

Superferry12

this was not my first time on a ship ride.

But yesterday's trip was different. after having our 'last supper'(previous post), i hopped to the ship nervously as i blew my kisses to jan-jan and Jp..

there were not so many passengers (because of typhoon santi. in fact this trip was rescheduled from a day trip to a night trip). i settled on the upper deck to avoid getting distracted with other passengers as i was finishing the book i can't quite get my hands into because of a busy schedule (sa laag!hihihih-witch of Portobello). the television located in front of me kept my attention on loose because ella(kristine hermosa) was proposing to miguel(jericho rosales-who i love so much!) in the teleserye Dahil my isang Ikaw. i think everyone else were Kapamilya since they were all smiling when i secretly glanced on them, worried that i might be on autistic mode again..heheheh Apparently not. they were all so glued up to the television, much more for the next program:PBB double Up. i can smell their excitement as others were fixing themselves on their bed trying to get the most comfortable position as they waited for the advertisements to finish. hahahah! to our surprise, somebody turned off the television claiming that it was "Oh! so loud!" for her sleeping son..hm! what a kill joy! Luckily, somebody was brave enough to get up and turn it on. this time, i felt deaf! the audio was so low that the only choice left for us was to do lipreading.

i finished my book around 12midnight, when two men in black scout ranger uniforms(they were ship crews) about my age, were standing right in front of the bed, maybe a meter away from me. they would not stop looking at me, lying on my bed, so i got up with my phones and a new book to read(bridge across forever) and went straight to the restaurant. they followed me in there and sat right in front of my table now facing me directly. i was nervous! i was stressed! i was beginning to read my book when one of the crazyheads came up and said, " masisira ng mata mo nyan!", then offering a 'please-listen-to-me-look'. i just smiled. then he went on and said, "gusto mo ng kape?". pwede muambak sa barko?! i don't like the attention. i ignored him. Then a few minutes passed, he was taking pictures of me on his phone, what?! it was too much! what to do?what to do? when they went out ( i don' know where they went), i sipped coffee and went down to the minimart to buy instant noodles when one of them i happened to bump into.i was on the stairs last step down, he wanted to go up.grrrr! then he asked me, "saan ka?" asking like were friends, for politeness sake, i answered i want to buy noodles. he continued, "gusto mo samahan kita?" my mind was shouting no!!!! but i was so shy to be snob, i said, "hindi na..", but he went with me anyway pretending he didn't hear me. i felt like i had a personal bodyguard.. we went back to the restaurant but he did not sit with me. i felt better with the idea that nobody notices me, so i can freely do what i want to do without me getting bothered about them. then i got bored reading, the ship was going with the waves, i started to write. i got my pen, wrote something on the receipt(of my noodles) then another crew came up and said, "gusto mo kunan kita ng papel?", now i have a yaya i mean, a yayo..hai..he really came with a paper. it was around 4:30am that time.. i said my thank you, and they all went out! indeed, a big THANK YOU!

i wrote the songs that played on their stereo on the receipt, and all my thoughts on the paper the guy gave me..



though i got stressed up with those men, who when i was going down of the ship, lined down on the stairs and waved goodbye, i was thankful they kept me awake! the whole night!hahahahah!

until the morning broke, i did not understand how i felt.. even the magnificence of the sunrise was not able to calm me..


shipthoughts:

*feels like something's posted on my back that broadcasts my 'status'..=))
*Loneliness was so evident that even their niceness, i mistaken of something else. this makes me wish to be a child again- the innocence and the genuineness of gratitude.
*i remember exactly the feeling when i rode the 'space shuttle'. it was horrible(i would not have done it if not for the so-excited lolo!). the thought of that experience turns my stomach upside down. and, that is exactly what i feel right now. i can already see the port area in the restaurant windows through the flickering lights spread like fireflies on cold mountains. i can throw up any minute now, my hands are trembling. It felt returning to a place i have never been for years, uncertain of how much the people has changed.

the songs played at this moment makes it all worse- 'umagang kay ganda'(halika ka na! harapin, limutin ang problema...).why can't just my tachycardic pulse calm down with the darkness giving up its power to sunrise. why can't i just move with the other passengers' pace as they excitedly eat their breakfast on the tables around me.

people are smiling at me as if greeting good morning to a loved one they expect to see upon getting out of the portgate. guiltily, i can't smile.i just just can't let out the 'smile' my friends have known me for. i am anxious! i am scared!

sutukil.

before going home that night, we- jan-jan, Jp, ailee- went to try sutukil..

lingaw.super busog.

bye for now...







see you when you get home!

'a journey home'

When i was in Cebu, JP had free tickets to an indie movie, which he gave up for some strolling in the mall,and gave it to jan-jan and me instead. It starred Toni Gonzaga and some others (i don't remember the names). The movie was entitled ' a journey home' and was directed by Toni's long-time boyfriend Paul Soriano..

It was more of a 'spiritual' movie, since it showcased the "born again' religion very much. The story revolved around a family abandoned by the 'man of the house' for women and works abroad. Due to recession, the father came back to the Philippines with nothing, in solitary living, looking for jobs- that might consider his age- on the classified adds. Surprised, he knew someone on the obituary section-it was his abandoned wife.

The story then tells a sad, emotional, spiritual, reflective and forgiving journey of the 'man of the house' as he goes to the funeral facing his children with such guilt then finding himself living with his eldest child who hates him big time.

A story of a then 'sinful' father to a remorseful being as he discovers God's great love for Him, accepts it and finally returning to His creator peacefully.

The film was great, in a way..People were applauding as soon as the film was finished. Jan-jan even cried a lot.hahahah! but, i think the lesson it wanted to share was that...

"no matter how many million mistakes you have brought yourself into, God is still- and will always be-a forgiving Saviour. You just have to open your heart for Him."

italian night..

am going home tomorrow..

am not so excited though..

but, i guess, this is time to go..

Denial was i think the main 'theme' of my coming over.. Now, more than ever, i believe that i have a heart to fix, and a life to live-so no more time for the things of the past.. I cannot dwell on it any longer, because i know myself.. Because i know, that if i keep myself taped in this very exhausting, 'overdue' misery, in weeks time my parents will have to send me out there: where sounds of airplanes coming and going will make me worse..hahahah! funny! i know! but, it seems like it..

Am abnormal, i think.. Most of my friends also think i am..lol! They think am abnormal enough that even if i get extraordinarily depressed or irritated or discouraged, i just don't get to act appropriately.. I just could not get into my senses, i could not imagine myself getting angry, because i have never been angry i think or because there was not so much of personal experiences that cultivated much of my primitive emotions..(i remember last week when jan-jan, ailee and me had reflexology.The pain was just excruciating that i started to sweat really seriously but everyone looking at me were laughing. Because my words don't match my expressions. i was smiling!).. Renan would tell me (often) that it's not healthy at all. That i should let out all that i feel because i might hit 'one time:big time' blast, and all the people around me might hate me for it-they might think i have changed overnight.. I have practiced my anger skills slowly though, with renan.heheheh! He would complain when i bring out a crispy tone of angst on him,because he thinks he's the only person i'd get to do that to.But i tell him it's because, he's also one of the persons (not mentioning the other) i know would not take it personally on me..

What a big progress i have made in Cebu! I thought i do not go through the normal grieving route.i always end up with depression then acceptance, just that two, over and over again.. But, thank you to my 'solitary moments' and my friends' 'wisdom', i am on track.. Now, i think am angry.. Am angry because for the first time, i have heard what i have been dreading to hear all these years.. I have opted to listen to what my friends were keeping to say from me, because they know i will be hurt.. But now! i have decided to learn about them..

pero karon, ang akong uwahi nga gabi-e dri sa sugbu! =)

nagpalit lang mig pizza(libre ni ailee), softdrinks(libre ni JP), ug litson manok..

Lexmark models! JP, Ailee

Lovebirds-JP, Jan-jan

Sisters-Ailee, Jan-jan

Janica!

Cebu would not have been MORE special if not for Ailee, JP, Aiying and of course Jan-jan!
thank you for making my stay fun, reflective, and life-changing!hahhaah!

iloveyouall soooooooo much! mwah!