oh patience..please extend further...
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Psalm 31:14
But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God."
dear Father,
But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God."
dear Father,
Your thoughts always wake me up in the middle of the night. The mere picture of you holding me brings so much relief, and i would think that i missed talking to you earlier that night.
My unconscious self tells me in my dreams that tomorrow will be different because i have not mentioned your name but my conscious self rewards me with a sound sleep.
Father, teach me to trust other people because my heart's always weary. And my mind goes with it. It's ability to wander and wonder has made me feel weak, unfocused and unhappy.
I want to be happy father, with you and with the couple of people i love dearly. Please help me be reminded always to call upon your name whatever comes through. With my whole heart, i ask you Father to reveal the purpose of all these.
everything i ask, in the name of Jesus Christ...amen...
My unconscious self tells me in my dreams that tomorrow will be different because i have not mentioned your name but my conscious self rewards me with a sound sleep.
Father, teach me to trust other people because my heart's always weary. And my mind goes with it. It's ability to wander and wonder has made me feel weak, unfocused and unhappy.
I want to be happy father, with you and with the couple of people i love dearly. Please help me be reminded always to call upon your name whatever comes through. With my whole heart, i ask you Father to reveal the purpose of all these.
everything i ask, in the name of Jesus Christ...amen...
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Romans 5:3-4 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope..
Dear God,
Please let me be able to stand all these..I f i forget to talk to you at times about my problems, please do not forget me. I'll always be searching for you-all the time.
Always be with me and my husband, Father, in everything.
amen..
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
acceptance.
All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.
Without question, i am accepting. Because this is what God has given me- all these has purpose.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
anger.
Psalm 37:7-9 "Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm. For the wicked will be destroyed, but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land.".
My mother, and everyone around me, says i got a lot of patience. Constantly, she would tell other people that i bring joy to the family by being one. My relatives would appreciate my happiness despite the children running around me ruining the things i just got arranged. Janica and her sister Ailee would tell me how i can still smile with my foot being hurt during a foot massage the three (3) of us had, while my eyes were teary. Tetel and mila would tell me how i can allow other people to hurt me, which took me 11 years to realize that my ex-boyfriend was stupid! Despite all the hurt i have been through with that person, i have not even uttered a single word that would degrade himself or even make him feel bad about his character. i guess, only my amount of tears taught him, how i badly i felt about him.
It was easy being one! i never mind even if janica or desiree would make me wait hours for a stroll or a jog, or even if a friend doesn't reply to a text message immediately-because i was also not a text addict. I didn't mind even if a planned activity doesn't push through or a friend loses/uses something i have treasured. I was happy all the time!
So am thinking, why so easily I turned into someone i am not. Suddenly, my patience grew very short and i say words i naturally do not utter. Now i complain (lightly) that my niece is calling in the office's line more than 5 times a day before she goes to school and the time she arrives and ironically complain that my husband doesn't automatically reply to my messages. I complain that my husband picks me up late, more than 30min later. Most especially, i refuse to understand things, that needs understanding. I am not me.:(
I am trying to decipher what else i forgot to do in my lifetime that i am badly paying for it. Honestly, i could not remember fooling around someone, although i hated a few people that liked me, because i didn't like them back.
Recently, I am all the time angry- and i am not liking it. I loose patience very easily and my temper is outrageous.
GOD,
Thank you for the wonderful day you have given us. A day to celebrate life and love once more. Thank you for all the blessings you are showering upon us, though at times i do not think i deserve it.
Teach me God to appreciate all these trials, because I know these all have something to teach me. May you give me endurance and more strength to get through all these. Am not complaining Father of all these but i am praying harder that may all that may still come, come one at a time. It is always in my heart Father that you will not give me anything my heart and mind could not handle, but i am near breaking...
Am asking Father that may you continue to understand me that i will understand others. I cannot hate someone Lord, because my love pours out for him. Help me think that the past has nothing to do with me and I got nothing to do with them/it.
Father, hear me..
amen..
Saturday, February 5, 2011
james..
James 1:2-7
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,>]">2 whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.".
It has been a month since i got married to the man i truly, with all my heart, love. The decision, of course, did not come easily as we had to consider a few major parts of our lives. Nevertheless, love conquered all- our love conquered all.
Marriage was not something i have envisioned to happen for me this age. Admittedly, the first person i shared a marriage plan with was set 5 years 2 years ago. But then again, circumstances happen and i chose to be nice for myself than for him. It was at the verge of my "broken-heart" episodes that my husband came. Coincidence as it may be, he hid his identity from a name i have dreaded to hear. But, he was lovable. Meeting him was the perfect picture of God's hands working for me- in his perfect time.
It was blissful that i had someone i call my very own. A person i do not have to secretly share with someone. A person whom God sent to answer many years of prayers. A one person who placed me in his pedestal and never made me come down. A person who thinks of me first before himself, who remembers me before he would remember others. A person who chose to remind me that no matter where he is, whatever he is doing and whoever he is with, i am the one person his heart is shouting for.
I call him "heart", he calls me secretly by the term" love" but " burot" when others are listening. He said, it was never him to call someone by a term but because i was special, he calls me by a special name.
Today, february 6, 2011, 1 month 9 days after our wedding, i am choosing to be happy despite everything i refuse to accept and understand. I refused!
I would like to think that i am a good daughter, i tried my best to extend as much understanding as there is for my siblings, give as much patience as i could to my nephew and niece, most importantly give out as much love as my heart could hold to everyone around me. I appreciated all there is that came along, so that i do not understand why am given so much more than what i could only bear.
Last night, i cried- neither because I was angry nor i was hating someone. I could not fathom the depth of the pain my heart and mind are containing. I couldn't understand why all these are happening when i tried to be as nice as somebody could be. When I tried to be as a good citizen as i can be, and as a good daughter/follower as i can be. I prayed to be bestowed even an ounce of Job's patience, understanding, and love. I am still praying.
I have prayed a lot. In my prayers were questions i wanted God to answer- that only Him could answer. Sometimes, i'd think that God is not anymore listening to me. Often, i'd tell Him that if he is trying my patience, may he guide me get through all these.
At church a few years ago, we were encouraged at a youth's class to recite a memory verse each meeting. My favorite is James 1:2-8. Although everyone might have had enough of those verses, i did not grow tired of reciting them. But, it is only today that i am understanding it deeply.
Maybe i am not joyful of my trials. Maybe, I did not allow God to take his full course on me, or yet, i asked without utmost faith.
God, I am allowing you to dip your hands on me and guide me in becoming a servant of your own. Bestow my husband maturity in everything he does, and may our love grow despite all these. I trust that all these trials are set not to hurt me but to build me, so that i am asking for your continuous support and love that i may become a better wife and that we may have a good family.
Help me to be appreciative of the people that are around me. My family has supported me in all my endeavors without counting. I realized that we are maturing as a family, growing with love and faith in you and that may you endlessly shower us with everything you think we deserve. Trials do always come Father, but remind me that you do not give those to hurt me, but to make me understand and view things clearly.
Lastly, i pray that because i cannot hate the one person you put up for me to share my years with, i sincerely pray Father that may you increase my patience and trust and understanding.
Help us dear God!
It has been a month since i got married to the man i truly, with all my heart, love. The decision, of course, did not come easily as we had to consider a few major parts of our lives. Nevertheless, love conquered all- our love conquered all.
Marriage was not something i have envisioned to happen for me this age. Admittedly, the first person i shared a marriage plan with was set 5 years 2 years ago. But then again, circumstances happen and i chose to be nice for myself than for him. It was at the verge of my "broken-heart" episodes that my husband came. Coincidence as it may be, he hid his identity from a name i have dreaded to hear. But, he was lovable. Meeting him was the perfect picture of God's hands working for me- in his perfect time.
It was blissful that i had someone i call my very own. A person i do not have to secretly share with someone. A person whom God sent to answer many years of prayers. A one person who placed me in his pedestal and never made me come down. A person who thinks of me first before himself, who remembers me before he would remember others. A person who chose to remind me that no matter where he is, whatever he is doing and whoever he is with, i am the one person his heart is shouting for.
I call him "heart", he calls me secretly by the term" love" but " burot" when others are listening. He said, it was never him to call someone by a term but because i was special, he calls me by a special name.
Today, february 6, 2011, 1 month 9 days after our wedding, i am choosing to be happy despite everything i refuse to accept and understand. I refused!
I would like to think that i am a good daughter, i tried my best to extend as much understanding as there is for my siblings, give as much patience as i could to my nephew and niece, most importantly give out as much love as my heart could hold to everyone around me. I appreciated all there is that came along, so that i do not understand why am given so much more than what i could only bear.
Last night, i cried- neither because I was angry nor i was hating someone. I could not fathom the depth of the pain my heart and mind are containing. I couldn't understand why all these are happening when i tried to be as nice as somebody could be. When I tried to be as a good citizen as i can be, and as a good daughter/follower as i can be. I prayed to be bestowed even an ounce of Job's patience, understanding, and love. I am still praying.
I have prayed a lot. In my prayers were questions i wanted God to answer- that only Him could answer. Sometimes, i'd think that God is not anymore listening to me. Often, i'd tell Him that if he is trying my patience, may he guide me get through all these.
At church a few years ago, we were encouraged at a youth's class to recite a memory verse each meeting. My favorite is James 1:2-8. Although everyone might have had enough of those verses, i did not grow tired of reciting them. But, it is only today that i am understanding it deeply.
Maybe i am not joyful of my trials. Maybe, I did not allow God to take his full course on me, or yet, i asked without utmost faith.
God, I am allowing you to dip your hands on me and guide me in becoming a servant of your own. Bestow my husband maturity in everything he does, and may our love grow despite all these. I trust that all these trials are set not to hurt me but to build me, so that i am asking for your continuous support and love that i may become a better wife and that we may have a good family.
Help me to be appreciative of the people that are around me. My family has supported me in all my endeavors without counting. I realized that we are maturing as a family, growing with love and faith in you and that may you endlessly shower us with everything you think we deserve. Trials do always come Father, but remind me that you do not give those to hurt me, but to make me understand and view things clearly.
Lastly, i pray that because i cannot hate the one person you put up for me to share my years with, i sincerely pray Father that may you increase my patience and trust and understanding.
Help us dear God!
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