anger.

Psalm 37:7-9 "Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm. For the wicked will be destroyed, but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land.".

My mother, and everyone around me, says i got a lot of patience. Constantly, she would tell other people that i bring joy to the family by being one. My relatives would appreciate my happiness despite the children running around me ruining the things i just got arranged. Janica and her sister Ailee would tell me how i can still smile with my foot being hurt during a foot massage the three (3) of us had, while my eyes were teary. Tetel and mila would tell me how i can allow other people to hurt me, which took me 11 years to realize that my ex-boyfriend was stupid! Despite all the hurt i have been through with that person, i have not even uttered a single word that would degrade himself or even make him feel bad about his character. i guess, only my amount of tears taught him, how i badly i felt about him.

It was easy being one! i never mind even if janica or desiree would make me wait hours for a stroll or a jog, or even if a friend doesn't reply to a text message immediately-because i was also not a text addict. I didn't mind even if a planned activity doesn't push through or a friend loses/uses something i have treasured. I was happy all the time!

So am thinking, why so easily I turned into someone i am not. Suddenly, my patience grew very short and i say words i naturally do not utter. Now i complain (lightly) that my niece is calling in the office's line more than 5 times a day before she goes to school and the time she arrives and ironically complain that my husband doesn't automatically reply to my messages. I complain that my husband picks me up late, more than 30min later. Most especially, i refuse to understand things, that needs understanding. I am not me.:(

I am trying to decipher what else i forgot to do in my lifetime that i am badly paying for it. Honestly, i could not remember fooling around someone, although i hated a few people that liked me, because i didn't like them back.

Recently, I am all the time angry- and i am not liking it. I loose patience very easily and my temper is outrageous.

GOD,

Thank you for the wonderful day you have given us. A day to celebrate life and love once more. Thank you for all the blessings you are showering upon us, though at times i do not think i deserve it.

Teach me God to appreciate all these trials, because I know these all have something to teach me. May you give me endurance and more strength to get through all these. Am not complaining Father of all these but i am praying harder that may all that may still come, come one at a time. It is always in my heart Father that you will not give me anything my heart and mind could not handle, but i am near breaking...

Am asking Father that may you continue to understand me that i will understand others. I cannot hate someone Lord, because my love pours out for him. Help me think that the past has nothing to do with me and I got nothing to do with them/it.

Father, hear me..

amen..