"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,>]">2 whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.".
It has been a month since i got married to the man i truly, with all my heart, love. The decision, of course, did not come easily as we had to consider a few major parts of our lives. Nevertheless, love conquered all- our love conquered all.
Marriage was not something i have envisioned to happen for me this age. Admittedly, the first person i shared a marriage plan with was set 5 years 2 years ago. But then again, circumstances happen and i chose to be nice for myself than for him. It was at the verge of my "broken-heart" episodes that my husband came. Coincidence as it may be, he hid his identity from a name i have dreaded to hear. But, he was lovable. Meeting him was the perfect picture of God's hands working for me- in his perfect time.
It was blissful that i had someone i call my very own. A person i do not have to secretly share with someone. A person whom God sent to answer many years of prayers. A one person who placed me in his pedestal and never made me come down. A person who thinks of me first before himself, who remembers me before he would remember others. A person who chose to remind me that no matter where he is, whatever he is doing and whoever he is with, i am the one person his heart is shouting for.
I call him "heart", he calls me secretly by the term" love" but " burot" when others are listening. He said, it was never him to call someone by a term but because i was special, he calls me by a special name.
Today, february 6, 2011, 1 month 9 days after our wedding, i am choosing to be happy despite everything i refuse to accept and understand. I refused!
I would like to think that i am a good daughter, i tried my best to extend as much understanding as there is for my siblings, give as much patience as i could to my nephew and niece, most importantly give out as much love as my heart could hold to everyone around me. I appreciated all there is that came along, so that i do not understand why am given so much more than what i could only bear.
Last night, i cried- neither because I was angry nor i was hating someone. I could not fathom the depth of the pain my heart and mind are containing. I couldn't understand why all these are happening when i tried to be as nice as somebody could be. When I tried to be as a good citizen as i can be, and as a good daughter/follower as i can be. I prayed to be bestowed even an ounce of Job's patience, understanding, and love. I am still praying.
I have prayed a lot. In my prayers were questions i wanted God to answer- that only Him could answer. Sometimes, i'd think that God is not anymore listening to me. Often, i'd tell Him that if he is trying my patience, may he guide me get through all these.
At church a few years ago, we were encouraged at a youth's class to recite a memory verse each meeting. My favorite is James 1:2-8. Although everyone might have had enough of those verses, i did not grow tired of reciting them. But, it is only today that i am understanding it deeply.
Maybe i am not joyful of my trials. Maybe, I did not allow God to take his full course on me, or yet, i asked without utmost faith.
God, I am allowing you to dip your hands on me and guide me in becoming a servant of your own. Bestow my husband maturity in everything he does, and may our love grow despite all these. I trust that all these trials are set not to hurt me but to build me, so that i am asking for your continuous support and love that i may become a better wife and that we may have a good family.
Help me to be appreciative of the people that are around me. My family has supported me in all my endeavors without counting. I realized that we are maturing as a family, growing with love and faith in you and that may you endlessly shower us with everything you think we deserve. Trials do always come Father, but remind me that you do not give those to hurt me, but to make me understand and view things clearly.
Lastly, i pray that because i cannot hate the one person you put up for me to share my years with, i sincerely pray Father that may you increase my patience and trust and understanding.
Help us dear God!
It has been a month since i got married to the man i truly, with all my heart, love. The decision, of course, did not come easily as we had to consider a few major parts of our lives. Nevertheless, love conquered all- our love conquered all.
Marriage was not something i have envisioned to happen for me this age. Admittedly, the first person i shared a marriage plan with was set 5 years 2 years ago. But then again, circumstances happen and i chose to be nice for myself than for him. It was at the verge of my "broken-heart" episodes that my husband came. Coincidence as it may be, he hid his identity from a name i have dreaded to hear. But, he was lovable. Meeting him was the perfect picture of God's hands working for me- in his perfect time.
It was blissful that i had someone i call my very own. A person i do not have to secretly share with someone. A person whom God sent to answer many years of prayers. A one person who placed me in his pedestal and never made me come down. A person who thinks of me first before himself, who remembers me before he would remember others. A person who chose to remind me that no matter where he is, whatever he is doing and whoever he is with, i am the one person his heart is shouting for.
I call him "heart", he calls me secretly by the term" love" but " burot" when others are listening. He said, it was never him to call someone by a term but because i was special, he calls me by a special name.
Today, february 6, 2011, 1 month 9 days after our wedding, i am choosing to be happy despite everything i refuse to accept and understand. I refused!
I would like to think that i am a good daughter, i tried my best to extend as much understanding as there is for my siblings, give as much patience as i could to my nephew and niece, most importantly give out as much love as my heart could hold to everyone around me. I appreciated all there is that came along, so that i do not understand why am given so much more than what i could only bear.
Last night, i cried- neither because I was angry nor i was hating someone. I could not fathom the depth of the pain my heart and mind are containing. I couldn't understand why all these are happening when i tried to be as nice as somebody could be. When I tried to be as a good citizen as i can be, and as a good daughter/follower as i can be. I prayed to be bestowed even an ounce of Job's patience, understanding, and love. I am still praying.
I have prayed a lot. In my prayers were questions i wanted God to answer- that only Him could answer. Sometimes, i'd think that God is not anymore listening to me. Often, i'd tell Him that if he is trying my patience, may he guide me get through all these.
At church a few years ago, we were encouraged at a youth's class to recite a memory verse each meeting. My favorite is James 1:2-8. Although everyone might have had enough of those verses, i did not grow tired of reciting them. But, it is only today that i am understanding it deeply.
Maybe i am not joyful of my trials. Maybe, I did not allow God to take his full course on me, or yet, i asked without utmost faith.
God, I am allowing you to dip your hands on me and guide me in becoming a servant of your own. Bestow my husband maturity in everything he does, and may our love grow despite all these. I trust that all these trials are set not to hurt me but to build me, so that i am asking for your continuous support and love that i may become a better wife and that we may have a good family.
Help me to be appreciative of the people that are around me. My family has supported me in all my endeavors without counting. I realized that we are maturing as a family, growing with love and faith in you and that may you endlessly shower us with everything you think we deserve. Trials do always come Father, but remind me that you do not give those to hurt me, but to make me understand and view things clearly.
Lastly, i pray that because i cannot hate the one person you put up for me to share my years with, i sincerely pray Father that may you increase my patience and trust and understanding.
Help us dear God!
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